Where My Heart Will Take Me
by Audrey Lynne
Summary: The request for the fic4radek ficathon was Radek in college. This story picks up there and follows him a bit further. Life isn't always easy, but somehow, Radek finds a way to survive.


_**Where My Heart Will Take Me**_

_By Audrey Lynne_

_Written for the fic4radek ficathon - the request was Radek in college...sure, like Audrey needed an excuse to do backstory on Radek..._

To say Radek Zelenka was annoyed would have been the understatement of the decade, possibly even the century. He pulled his coat more tightly around him as he walked down the street, trying to fight off the chill of a typical Prague winter. The snow crunched beneath his feet--and while Radek normally didn't mind the walk, even in the cold, his mood was foul enough that everything bothered him, even his oversized scarf. It was nearly four meters long--his sister had gone a bit overboard when knitting it, to say the least--and it had a habit of unwrapping itself as he walked. Radek hadn't yet figured out how to wrap it so that it would stay in place. He paused to loop the loose length of the scarf around his waist once, then tossed the excess over his shoulder. It would have to do for the moment, because he didn't want to mess with it any further.

"_Do prdele_," he growled to himself, continuing to curse the universe in general until he reached the apartment building at the end of the street, where he usually met his girlfriend after he was finished at the university for the day. He leaned up against the lamp post to wait, as she usually watched from her window and came out to greet him. The weather was cold, yes, but not enough to drive him inside as soon as possible, and he really didn't want to deal with anyone but her right then. In all honesty, Radek would have preferred to go home by himself to sulk, but it would be good for him to have someone else around, someone who wouldn't let him get away with sulking for too long.

Radek was caught up enough in his own thoughts that he didn't notice the slim blonde woman sneaking up behind him until she tugged the free end of his scarf. That definitely got his attention, considering most of the rest of it was wrapped around him. He spun around, on his guard at first, but relaxed as soon as he saw her. "Květa! Don't scare me like that."

Květa Jasný grinned shamelessly and moved in to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry, Rádá...but, really, you should see yourself. I have seen storm clouds look more inviting."

Radek looped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him as they turned the corner and continued the walk to Radek's apartment. Fortunately, it was only another couple of blocks. "It was a long day," he said, by way of explanation. As angry as he was, he didn't dare say much about it until they had some measure of privacy. One never knew who might be listening to what on the streets and experience had taught Radek it was best to err on the side of caution in such matters.

"Why so long?" Květa asked. "Friday is usually good for you."

"I will tell you later," Radek said, deliberately switching to English. Neither of them spoke the language that well yet, but both had learned enough to handle a basic conversation and Radek sometimes opted for it when there was something he wanted to tell her that he didn't want everyone to overhear. Granted, the Soviet soldiers were the ones he had to worry about and many of them did know English, but at least it would get past any troublemaking eavesdropper in a crowd. There weren't too many people around now that they were on a side street, so Radek chose English this time more as a signal of his reluctance to discuss the matter openly than anything else.

Květa seemed to understand Radek's intention, at least, if not his reasoning, because she nodded, though she looked a little suspicious. "I see."

"I will explain; I promise," Radek told her, slipping back into their native Czech. "Just not now." He was still upset, but it was hard to radiate that anger with Květa pressed against his side; he knew it wouldn't be fair to take it out on her. She shouldn't have had to pay for the sins of others, idiots in positions of power. Idiots who freely abused that power. Just thinking about it again was enough to drive him crazy, so he temporarily shoved those thoughts aside and tried to focus on something else, anything else. Like their upcoming weekend away. Unfortunately, his mood was negatively affected enough by the day's events that even thinking of that couldn't fully restore his good cheer.

It didn't take them long to reach Radek's apartment. He shut the door behind them, then stole a quick kiss before Květa shed her coat and gloves and set them on the couch. Radek got to work at untangling himself from his scarf so that he could do the same. He still thought it was sweet that Jana had invested so much time and energy in knitting the thing for him, but with all the yarn, she could just as easily have made two separate scarves, both of which would have been more practical. When Radek had asked his sister why she felt the need to make a scarf that was twice as long as he was tall and then some, Jana only laughed and said she got the pattern from a friend in England and it had looked like a challenge. Radek knew Jana loved nothing more than a good challenge, so it almost made sense when he thought about it, but he had yet to figure out what he was supposed to do with the damned thing short of tying himself into it. But it _was_ warm and, in the end, that was really all that counted.

Květa laughed as Radek pulled off his coat. She picked the scarf up to liberally drape it over herself. She loved to play with the thing--and if it made her happy, Radek was content to let her. Life was difficult enough without those who tried to keep other people from enjoying the simple pleasures. These days, it felt like the pleasures they did get were indeed simple and too far between, but that could have just been Radek's irritation with the world creeping up on him again. "So now can you tell me what is bothering you so much?" Květa asked.

Radek laid his coat over the arm of the couch. He didn't have much in the way of furniture, so much of it served dual purposes. Why spend money on a coat rack when the couch would do just as nicely? Radek supposed he could have hung up the coat, but they would be going out again before long and so it was convenient to have it handy. "It is a long story."

Květa gave him a look that meant she wasn't having any of his evasiveness. "We have all evening--and we are going to Romana's house tomorrow. If you think I want to allow you to brood over whatever has upset you all weekend, you are sadly mistaken."

Radek sighed. He really did want someone to talk to, so he could get it out of his system if nothing else, but at this point, he was afraid if he started ranting, it would be a long time before he stopped. "Oh, Květka." He raised his hand, putting it to her cheek for a moment. "Perhaps it is just as well you don't have to deal with the university politics." Under other circumstances, that might have been a low blow, considering she hadn't been allowed to attend the university, since her father was quite vocal about his opposition to the Soviet regime among other things, but at the moment, Radek really _was_ glad she didn't have to deal with it. _He_ was tired of dealing with it.

Most days, Radek blessed the connections he had made during his forced military service that had granted him his in to the formal education available at Charles University, but sometimes, he wished he had been shut out of the university as well. Then he would have had the impetus to actually leave Czechoslovakia instead of considering it and ultimately deciding to remain for the sake of his family. It wasn't so much that they depended on him--they had certainly learned to do without him in the years the military had called him away--but he _wanted_ to be near them. They had helped him through a difficult adjustment period after he had been released from his military service and now they were the only reason he really stayed in the country. Radek knew his best opportunities for education really were elsewhere, outside of the areas of the world the Soviets dominated, but he also knew if he left, he might never be able to return.

Květa's lips turned upward in a sympathetic smile. "Are you having trouble with the professors again?"

"What else?" Radek rolled his eyes, heading into the kitchen. He needed a drink and he was pretty sure he still had some beer left. "They are all hired by the Russians--carefully screened, of course. Why should I ever expect anything to change?" Sure enough, there was one beer left. He glanced at Květa and angled the bottle in her direction, silently offering to share, but she declined. Radek shrugged, a non-verbal sort of "suit yourself," and opened the bottle, taking a sip. He sighed again, a little heavier this time, and shook his head. "_Verdammt und zugenäht_," he muttered to himself, using a German term he had picked up from a friend. It really wasn't all that vulgar, but anything he could think of to say in his own language at that point would have been and he really tried to be more polite around his girlfriend.

Květa frowned, as if trying to figure it out. "Is that German?"

Radek headed back out into the living room, motioning her to join him--not that it was a long walk. "Yes."

"I didn't know you spoke German."

"I don't, really," Radek admitted, "but a friend in the service taught me a few phrases."

"Interesting," Květa purred, her smile suggesting that even if she didn't know exactly what he had said, she had her suspicions. "What does it mean?"

Radek laughed as he shoved their coats aside so they could both sit down on the couch. "Nothing you need to worry about."

"I knew it." Květa sat down beside him, snuggling in close. Radek put an arm around her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. "What happened today?"

Radek rolled his eyes, his frustration returning. Perhaps it really would be best to talk about the matter, because it really was going to continue to bug him if he didn't. "Do you remember that paper I finished last week?"

Květa nodded, sitting up a little. "Yes. It was wonderful--at least what I could understand of it." She kissed his cheek. "You know when you start talking your science, you often lose me."

"Yes, well, Dr. Vlasov did not seem to think so. He marked the paper down and would not even provide me with a reason." Harsh grading was one thing--Radek could deal with that. But this had been unfair, just a poor grade slapped onto a paper without even a word of explanation, just a note from the professor that Radek's theory would never work. And talking to Dr. Vlasov in person had been even less helpful; he'd brushed Radek off completely. It wasn't the first time such a thing had happened and it wasn't only Vlasov. Radek had been annoyed before, yes, but those times, he had been able to shrug it off. This time, however, he _knew_ he was onto something. It wasn't a complete theory, only the beginnings of an idea, but Radek knew it had potential. And because it wasn't in complete agreement with the "approved" theories he was being taught, it had been shut down before it even had a chance to go anywhere.

Květa shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry. I might not understand what it all meant, but I know you were very excited about it."

"I know it was only a beginning," Radek said, illustrating his point in the air with his free hand, "but all great ideas have to start somewhere. I don't know all the implications it could have had; I would need help, someone to collaborate with."

"And you were hoping Dr. Vlasov would be that someone?"

Radek snorted. "Not likely. He has never been fond of me, which doesn't help the matter. But I was hoping perhaps another student and I could work on it, when we begin to put some of our projects in action later." That certainly wouldn't be happening now, not when he had been told his theory was worthless. And if it truly was, Radek could accept that, but he wanted to know _why_, how it wouldn't work, what he had to change to make it viable. "I am getting so tired of this, Květka. You know it is not the first time this has happened."

"No," Květa said, "but _you_ also knew going in to this that there would be censorship. It has been a complaint of many academics for a long time, Rádá. What made you think things would be any different for you?" Despite her words, her tone was sympathetic--but also matter-of-fact. "That is why so many have left for England, America...any place that will let them have freedom."

"Yes," Radek agreed, "and that might be an option for me someday, but not now." He knew if he left, Květa would join him in a heartbeat. She was a bright woman, held back from academic pursuits only by the restrictions placed upon her. He also knew she was right--he was never going to have the kind of freedom he longed for under any Soviet regime. Květa had never pushed Radek to make a decision on leaving Czechoslovakia, not the way his family had, but she reminded him of the option every now and then--nearly as often as he considered it himself. Radek knew that as much as they would hate to see him leave, if he decided to emigrate, his sister and aunt would help him pack. They were always telling him he was wasting his potential in a system that would never allow him to live up to it, but still...Radek wasn't ready. Perhaps someday, he would be. Days like the one he'd had got him that much closer, but in the end, Radek was never sure if he could accept knowing he might not have the opportunity to return once his education was complete, not without a serious regime change. If his home government didn't block him, the one of the country he ended up settling in might.

"I know." Květa slid her hand down the top of Radek's thigh to rest on his knee. "You are not ready yet. You might never be. You have to do what is right for you. But in the meantime, you also have to decide what you are going to do about this situation--and I do not mean only today. As you have said, it is not the first time this has happened and I think we would be fools to believe it will be the last."

"And what would you suggest?" Radek asked. "I could tell you what I would _like_ to do..."

Květa gave him a sharp look, surprising him. "I know what you _want_ to do, Radek. You want to make a point, to tell them your feelings on this treatment. And you are bold enough to _do_ it if they anger you badly enough." She squirmed around on the couch so that she faced him head-on. "I have always known that about you--you put up with things to a certain point and then you will have no more of it."

She wasn't telling Radek anything he didn't already know. "And your point?"

Květa wasn't about to let the matter drop. "My _point_ is that with the time you spent in the military and the people you met there, you of all people should know it is the ones who keep quiet who do best. I know you did things you don't want to discuss and I have no intention of making you, but...Radek! Your connections got you into the university, but you cannot forget that they _know_ how brilliant you are. And if they are trying to shut down your theories, yes, it is wrong, but I would advise you not to cross them."

"Then you want me to keep my mouth shut, to put up with it and move on?" Radek asked, pulling away. "Květa, that goes against everything--"

She cut him off. "Yes, and I hate to see you have to do it. But this is not the safest of worlds we live in. When I was a child, my uncle, he was much like you. He did not believe in sitting idle and allowing the Soviet censorship to continue. He was quite a firebrand, that I remember. I think you can guess what happened to him." She scoffed. "In fact, you probably know better than I do. I can only speculate--and know that, officially, I have no Uncle Petr."

Radek stood up, walking away from the couch, then spun around to face her, throwing up his hands in frustration. "Yes, I _know_ what happens to troublemakers! Every day, I wish I could forget how _much_ I know."

"And you think they would not do the same to you?" Květa asked, her eyes pleading with him to let it go. "Or are you hoping your friendship with Andrei will save you? I doubt he knows much of the daily goings-on here, not from Leningrad. It could be years before he hears, if at all--and even then, how much could he do?"

Andrei Chekov was Russian military, though he had voluntarily entered his country's service. He liked that life. He was also the only Russian besides Galina, the sweet widow who lived up the street from Radek's childhood home, Radek could honestly say he trusted. Galina had been a sort of surrogate grandmother to the neighborhood children. Andrei and Radek had met in a dark Ukrainian alley and agreed not to kill one another--then allied forces to capture the man who had been trying to kill _them_. Two vastly different starts to two vastly different relationships--and they were the two people who kept Radek from condemning all Russians with a single thought. Still, he couldn't stand what the ones in power were doing to his country and his people--and so many others. "Give me some credit, Květa. I have no illusions Andrei would be able to spare me any trouble, any more than Galina could have saved me from what I saw in the military. If it were only about the theory, I could _send_ it to Andrei and let it find the proper sources, those who would recognize its potential and claim the credit. And, yes, I would mind, but at least it could do the scientific community some good. But it isn't _about_ the theory or any of the other work that has been shot down in the past, mine or anyone else's. It is the _principle_."

"I agree with you!" Květa insisted. "I think it is as wrong as you do. But I am not willing to see you risk what freedom you do have--or worse--because you feel you need to take a stand. It is not worth it."

To Radek, it would have been, but he understood where Květa was coming from. He sighed, returning to the couch and sinking down onto it. His anger hadn't been completely deflated, but something about the beseeching look on Květa's face won him over. She often had that effect on him, but deep down, Radek knew she was right. He didn't care what happened to him if he made too much of a case over his principles, but his family certainly would and he couldn't do that to them. "No, I suppose it is not."

Květa moved in close again, running her fingers through his hair. "Try not to let it depress you. We have a wonderful weekend ahead of us--you know Romana is always a fantastic hostess."

"Yes, she is." That was what Radek was going to have to focus on, because he didn't really have a lot of other options and he _did_ want to enjoy his weekend. His aunt had no children, so she had always fussed over her nephews and niece, inviting them to stay at her home in the countryside whenever they liked. The invitation had remained open even as Radek and his siblings had become adults and so their traditional winter trips to Romana's house had remained one of the few constants in their lives. The trips had become more infrequent as Radek, Jana, and Viktor had adult responsibilities to attend to, but they always managed to make it out there at least once, often bringing along a friend or two, as Romana's oft-stated philosophy was "the more, the merrier." "Jana and Viktor will be there, too. It has been a few months since I even saw Viktor last."

Květa smiled. "Yes, you both keep quite busy. I think this trip will be good for you."

"For both of us," Radek agreed. "You keep quite busy yourself, with work."

Květa shrugged. "What else is there to do? Sit around the apartment with Mama, waiting for you to get home?"

"True," Radek allowed. He pulled her into his arms. "I am glad you were able to get the time away to come with us this weekend."

"After all the fun we had last year?" Květa asked, laughing. "There is no where else I would rather have been. Besides, I work for my father, remember? It is not as if it was difficult to persuade him to let me go. He rather likes you."

Radek had always been glad of that. It made for a much easier time, knowing his girlfriend's father approved of their being together. "Lucky for me."

Květa made an affectionate-sounding noise and snuggled deeper into Radek's embrace. "Luckier for him. It saves him the trouble of having to make sure I do not sneak out to see you."

Radek laughed. "You know, I have always loved your spirit." He slipped a finger under her chin, tilting her face up toward him so that he could kiss her. She returned the kiss with interest, resting her head on his chest once they pulled apart. Radek pressed another quick kiss into her hair. Yes, this was going to be a very good weekend. "Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me."

Květa glanced up at him, a hint of mischief in her eyes. "What can I say? You are adorable and the sex is wonderful." She shouldn't have been able to look so innocent while saying that, yet she managed to, then took advantage of Radek's momentary surprise to kiss him again.

Radek certainly didn't mind. "I love you," he breathed against her cheek, dipping his head down to nuzzle her neck. As expected, she melted in his arms.

"I love you too," Květa murmured, reaching up to tangle her fingers in Radek's hair.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, it occurred to Radek that they really did need to pack a few things for their upcoming trip, but he suspected it would be a while before they got around to that.

-----------------

The small lake--it was more of a large pond, really--in back of Romana's house had finally frozen over to the point where it was safe to walk and skate on. Jana, who arrived first, helpfully marked the suspicious-looking patches in order to avoid any mishaps, but for the most part, the ice was sturdy enough to provide even more fun for their winter play. Radek smiled at the sound of laughter from outside--Jana and Květa had headed outside after lunch and one or the other had started a snowball fight. Radek glanced out the window, watching them for a moment, then returned to his book. This weekend away really _was_ the best thing to let him unwind.

"Are you going to bury your nose in your books _all_ day?" Viktor asked, dropping a small, rounded object directly into Radek's lap. "I thought the idea of this trip was for us to _relax_."

"I am relaxing." Radek glanced up at Viktor, then to his lap. He immediately recognized the makeshift hockey puck they had used for their childhood games and picked it up. "Really, Viki, where did you dig this up?"

"The closet," Viktor said with a shrug. "Romana keeps everything."

"Indeed I do," their aunt agreed, coming into the room behind Viktor. She tousled his hair affectionately and let her other hand fall to rest on Radek's shoulder. "You never know when something might prove useful."

"So?" Viktor prompted, watching Radek expectantly. "Are you up for it? Or are you afraid that your little brother might win?"

Radek grabbed a piece of paper to mark his page and closed the book. He had never been one to back down from a challenge. "We will see about that."

-----------------

An hour later, both of the brothers were well-bruised from their various slips on the ice, but they were laughing as they pulled off their skates and headed inside to warm up a bit. The game had been declared a tie, sparing male pride on both sides, but Radek was sure Viktor would want a rematch before the weekend was over.

"Rádá!" Květa bounded out of the kitchen as he came inside and Radek could see she was playing with his scarf again--he had left it inside for fear of tripping over it on the ice. This time, she had fashioned a sort of sarong out of it, tying it around her upper body and hips. Radek found himself thinking the scarf finally had a useful purpose, if only Květa weren't fully clothed underneath. He pulled her into a hug, enjoying the warmth of her hands as she placed them on his stinging cheeks. "You are freezing."

"Not for long." Radek released her but took her hand and led her down the hall, back into the bedroom he and Viktor were sharing, which was also the most likely place for Romana's typically antisocial cat to be hiding. "Come on, you said you wanted to see the cat." Teo had proven elusive the entire time Květa had been at the house with them last and this time, she had laughingly declared it her mission to actually see and possibly pet the cat. She was such an animal lover, and though Teo dealt with humans as little as possible, he rarely tried to bite or scratch anyone. "Without so much activity going on right now, we may be able to coax him out from under the bed."

"Good luck," Romana called after them. "I hardly see him unless it is time for him to be fed. He seems to think I work for him."

It took some doing, but finally Květa thought to untie Radek's scarf and use its tassels to tease Teo into coming out to play. She smiled triumphantly as he was lured out and picked him up for a quick cuddle. Teo put up with it for a few minutes, even purring a little, before squirming out of Květa's arms to disappear under the bed again.

Radek watched with no small degree of amusement as Květa took the section of the scarf she had untied in order to entice Teo and playfully looped it around Radek's wrist. "There," she said, sounding quite pleased with herself. "Now you cannot escape me."

Radek laughed. "I would never try." He had been going through a rough time when he'd met Květa and she, along with his family, had helped him deal with it and get his life back on track. He ran his fingers over the scarf's multicolored pattern. Perhaps its length might have another use, beyond decorating his girlfriend and teasing the cat. "Have I ever told you about the game Jana and I used to play when we were children, skating on the lake?"

Květa's eyes widened in anticipation. "No."

"Obviously, I must correct that situation." Radek grinned and began draping the scarf over his arm as he unwrapped it from around her. "You see, she would grab my scarf from behind and hold on while I tried to skate away from her..."

-----------------

Radek knew he would be even _more_ bruised in the morning, but he was also too content to care. He hadn't tried to pull anyone behind him on ice skates in years and a longer scarf, combined with two adults instead of children, made the entire affair that much more interesting. They slipped, they fell, they got tangled up together, and they laughed and got back up again. Radek couldn't have spoken for Květa, but he'd had the time of his life--so much so that he couldn't be bothered to care he hadn't had time to get as much studying done as he had originally planned. He could study anytime, back at his apartment in Prague.

Romana, in her role as the family matriarch since Radek's mother died, felt it was her sworn duty to document as much of their family's lives as she could on camera. She only had a limited amount of film, so she was judicious in her choice of photo opportunities, but Radek knew she must have captured at least one moment of him and Květa together. He would have to get a copy later.

As darkness fell, Radek finally did settle down inside with his books again, while Květa cuddled up beside him, occasionally reading over his shoulder and asking him to explain some engineering principle to her. It was an old game of theirs and Radek hardly minded. Romana shooed Viktor and Jana from the kitchen so that she could cook and they retired to a corner of the living room to talk about whatever it was they talked about. From the way they occasionally laughed and glanced in his direction, Radek was sure he was at least one of the subjects of their conversation, but what else were younger siblings for? He knew all the best ways to exact revenge later if necessary. All in all, as cliché as it sounded, Radek couldn't have imagined a more perfect day--unless, of course, he had managed to beat Viktor during their hockey game that morning...

-----------------

Ultimately, Radek found that if he _did_ want to complete his education and be able to publish his best work freely, leaving Czechoslovakia was his only option. It was a painful decision, but he had to do what was best for himself--and his wife. Květa devoured nearly any book she could get her hands on, but she was never going to be able to get the university-level education she so dearly wanted to pursue until they lived under a system where admission was based on merit and not politics. Both of them had been putting money away, just in case, and with the help of Jana's friends in England, they were able to leave their home country. They stayed in London nearly a month before leaving Europe entirely so that Radek could start his studies at New York University. With the heavy tension between Russia and the United States, Radek had no idea _how_ Andrei had connections to anyone at the Manhattan university, but he was too grateful to ask any questions.

Radek and Květa were both able to find work quickly and while the money wasn't great, it paid the rent and they both agreed things would get better once Radek had his doctorate and he could find a better, higher-paying job. Then Květa could pursue a degree of her own and everything would fall into place. Those early days had an almost surreal feel to them, a palpable excitement about the adventure they were embarking on despite the fact that parts of it scared them half to death. They were so sure they would make it, somehow.

All the optimism in the world, however, wasn't able to save them from the real-world stresses of being strangers in a strange land. Despite the cultural melting pot that New York City was, people talked fast and had little patience sometimes for those who were still learning some of the nuances of the English language. Radek knew enough to understand his coursework, as well as carry on a reasonable conversation, and Květa's prowess with English was only slightly behind his, but slang was still baffling and accents could be hard to understand--both theirs and those around them. They ran into cultural barriers as well, and though they had been mentally prepared for that, it was still hard. Most nights, Radek had to head straight for work after class, and with as early as Květa had to be at work in the morning, there were times he wouldn't see his wife for days at a time, except when he would tumble into bed beside her with a soft apology for waking her. He still loved her dearly, but all the love in the world couldn't change some of the obstacles in front of them.

A little over a year after their arrival in New York, Květa came to him with tears in her eyes. Radek's first fear was that she was pregnant, because that was the absolute last thing they needed to have added to their plate. Then again, he lamented, with as often as they had been able to make time for sex, it would have been impressive if she were. But, no. This was more than that. They had grown apart, and not just for lack of time together.

Květa had fallen in love with America and the opportunities that were within her reach--if not right away, then soon. Radek was still hoping he could find a way to go home to Prague eventually, even if he knew it was probably asking too much of the universe. He had absolutely nothing against America and he was thankful for the chances it had provided him, but his family and his home were still in Czechoslovakia. As far as Květa was concerned, as long as she could stay in touch with her family, she could have happily spent the rest of her life in New York. And it was a good fit for her. Outside of work, she had friends and social activities; she had even found a group of women in their neighborhood who had also fled countries like Czechoslovakia and Poland. Radek, meanwhile, found that his friends were mostly from the university and work, because outside of that, he didn't have much of a life. It wasn't something he spent a great deal of time worrying about, because it was simply the way things were, but it left him somewhat unable to relate to the things Květa was doing. Even their weekends together were never truly theirs; if he didn't have something to do, she did. The hours they did spend together became less about enjoying each others' company and more about playing a week's worth of catch-up.

Radek could tell it had not been an arbitrary or easy decision for her, but Květa had come to realize their lives were continuing on separate paths and they _were_ making it in their new lives--but parallel to each other, not together. That wasn't good for either one of them, she said, and Radek couldn't help but agree, though the implications of what she was saying broke his heart. He still loved her, but he was of the mind that if you loved someone, the best thing to do was let them go and not turn them against you by trying to hold on. She apologized more times than Radek bothered to count, and despite what his friends at work suggested, that she had simply used him as her free ticket to New York and was now dropping him, Radek knew Květa was simply trying to do what she felt was best for them both. That knowledge didn't make things any easier, but it led him to sign the divorce papers without complaint. She didn't want anything from him, just the assurance that he didn't hate her for doing this. And while some of his friends certainly did, Radek could never hate her. Eventually, his friends and colleagues stopped trying to speak ill of Květa when he was around...and eventually, Radek's heart stopped breaking anew every night he fell asleep alone. Life moved on and one day he was struck with the sudden, startling knowledge that his daily routine really wasn't all that different--except she wasn't there.

-----------------

Over the years, Dr. Radek Zelenka's priorities had a way of changing on him, often when he least expected it. One day, he was focused on returning to the Czech Republic--and the name had never sounded lovelier--but once he was there, it became a matter of choosing to accept a teaching position at Charles University versus Masaryk in Brno. He chose Charles because it would let him stay in Prague and he thought his life would be settling down--until Jana called him one night, hysterical. Her husband had been killed, leaving her alone with their infant son. Once Jana was back on her feet, more decisions arrived at Radek's door and eventually, grand schemes like pursuing a second degree in theoretical physics gave way to taking a few classes and dabbling in the field because, really, who had the time? His students and his family took priority and Radek didn't need an actual degree to satisfy his curiosity about the possibilities that were out there. One day, only weeks after convincing Andrei for the third time that he absolutely did _not_ want to take a research position in Antarctica, a lovely American woman showed up in his office at the university and told him exactly why he did. Life was funny that way.

Currently, Radek's top priority was figuring out where to put everything that had arrived from home now that the _Daedalus_ was able to have many more of their personal items shipped to Atlantis. Vying for a close second was his never-ending attempt to determine why, with as brilliant as they were, the Ancients had never gotten around to making their shelves out of a material capable of supporting more than two pounds of weight before tumbling off the wall entirely. Fortunately, the current occupants had plenty of shelving material of their own, but Radek was beginning to think Ancient shelves had been designed to be more decorative than functional. Which was fine if that was what they had intended, but with as many of them as there were, one sometimes wondered if the Ancients had more practical uses for them. Apparently not, Radek decided, as the additional weight of a third picture frame brought one of the shelves in his quarters down. He set the photos on the floor before re-hanging the shelf with a sigh.

The doorbell, or what passed for it, chimed and Radek glanced over his shoulder. The door was unlocked so whoever it was could let themselves in from the outside and his hands were currently occupied. Not for the first time, he cursed his lack of the ATA gene and its accompanying ability to wish a door open. "Come in.'

Radek was mildly surprised to see Rodney McKay come in, but not shocked. They had always been friends, despite the banter and the times they drove each other crazy, but the Wraith siege had truly cemented their friendship. There was nothing like working on nuclear weapons together while hopped up on amphetamines--or the misery of coming down off them--to encourage a little bonding. "Hi."

"Hello." Radek finished returning the shelf to its original location and waved. "Can I help you? If you need me in the lab, you could simply have used the radio."

"No, nothing like that." Rodney shrugged. "It's...well, I got a tape in the _Daedalus_ shipment and I can't think of anyone else I know who would _get_ it. Well, maybe Chuck, but he's working and it'd be kinda weird unless it was a formal viewing--" Apparently realizing he was rambling, Rodney broke off and eventually shrugged. "It's a hockey game. Canada takes on the Czech team. Haven't watched it yet; don't know how it ends. But you _know_ Canada's going to kick ass."

"We will see about that." Radek wiped his hands on his pants and knelt to pick up the photo frames at his feet. Rodney was full of surprises, but Radek liked their deepening friendship. "Thank you. I would love to--and it so happens I have some beer that came in this shipment as well."

Rodney grinned. "Well, I've got popcorn, so it sounds like we've got ourselves a plan." Scientists were not without their easily distracted moments and Rodney was no exception. He frowned, picking up a photograph that was lying in the top of a box of loose pictures Radek had never gotten around to categorizing. "So your hair _has_ always been like that. I knew it."

Radek rolled his eyes. "Have you nothing better to do?"

Rodney didn't answer; he was still focused on the photo. "Hey, who's the woman? She's hot."

If Rodney was lusting over Jana, Radek was going to have to hit him. "What does she look like?" He could have gone over there to look, but he wanted to finish putting the framed photos, at least two of them, back on the shelf first.

"About as tall as you...thin, blonde, hot? And she--oh, my _God._" Rodney's eyes went wide in a look Radek recognized as pure geeky excitement. "That _scarf_!"

The picture was sounding awfully familiar. Radek stood and headed over to where Rodney was standing. Sure enough, it was one of the photos Romana had taken that long-ago day at her house, him and Květa, laughing together as they skated, still so much in love. Radek had never been able to bring himself to part with the picture because it _was_ a part of his life--and it _had_ been an absolutely wonderful day. For all the pain that had come later, Radek would never wish away that time in his life. As one of the American country songs Dr. Simpson was so fond of said, one couldn't miss the pain without also missing the dance. And what a dance it had been. Radek smiled wistfully, caught up in the memory until Rodney's continued sputtering broke through his daze. "Sorry--you were saying?"

Rodney didn't even bother to roll his eyes, which showed how caught up he was in whatever he was on about. "Who's the girl and _where_ did you get that scarf?"

"My sister made the scarf," Radek explained. "Lovely, yes, but highly impractical given the length. The girl? She is my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife?" Rodney echoed. "Wow. Why would you keep a picture of--never mind. You had _the_ scarf. That is just so awesome. And I do mean awe-inspiring, in the truest sense of the word."

"It was nearly four meters long!" Radek insisted. "I never did figure out how to wrap it properly. And what do you mean, 'the' scarf?"

"Doctor Who, hello?" As with so many other things, Rodney's tone suggested it should have been obvious. "Never mind. You're wasting your time with anime; you wouldn't understand. Tell me you still have that scarf."

Radek nodded. "I think it is in a closet somewhere at my Aunt Romana's house."

"Can I have it?" Rodney asked.

Radek only knew the basic premise of the Doctor Who and thus had no idea what timelords and scarves had to do with one another, but he suspected Rodney would be equally lost if Radek tried to explain why John Sheppard reminded him so much of Miko's favorite anime character. Especially the hair. "Sure, if you like."

"Seriously? You mean--wait, did you say your aunt's name was _Romana_?"

Radek was even more confused now than before. "...Yes?" He hadn't meant to make it a question, but it came out sounding that way.

"Oh, that is hilarious." Rodney laughed, in that way-too-amused-at-the-world way of his. "You have the scarf and an aunt named Romana and you have _no_ clue why that's so funny."

"You are right. I don't." Radek shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted an explanation either. "Come on. We will watch the hockey game. That, we can both understand. Besides, Czech beer is best in the world."

Rodney's laugh this time was more of a snort. "Until you've tried Canadian."

"Yes, yes," Radek said, moving to grab two bottles of beer from his new stash. "You laugh it up, until my country beats yours at your own game."

"Yeah," Rodney scoffed, "like _that's_ gonna happen."

Their banter continued as Radek followed Rodney out of his quarters and down the hall to Rodney's own. Radek was definitely looking forward to the game--and not just because it was the first new hockey game he had been able to see in over a year. It was the camaraderie he appreciated most. As he thought about it, Radek realized his life hadn't changed all that much. He still worked ridiculous hours, even if it was by his own choice, and his friends were still pretty much limited to the people he worked with, even if there wasn't much choice in the matter on Atlantis. But he was happy. Radek could count on one hand the number of times he had known in his life he was exactly where he needed to be, doing exactly what he wanted to do, and this was one of them. A second home was home nonetheless and even if life in Atlantis scared the hell out of Radek sometimes and baffled him at others, he was home. It was a damned good feeling.

And it would be even better shortly, because though he hadn't _seen_ it, Radek had heard about the hockey game in question from one of the new Marines. The Czech Republic won the game.

_It's been a long night_

_Trying to find my way_

_Been through the darkness_

_Now I finally have my day_

_And I will see my dream come alive at last_

_I will touch the sky_

_And they're not going to hold me down no more_

_No, they're not going to change my mind_

_-"Faith of the Heart," Rod Stewart and Dianne Warren_


End file.
